would you adam and eve it!




Introducing Myself

Welcome Synth Lovers and SWAGZ!

(Synth Widows and Girlfriends)

My name is Virginia and after 16 years with my Synth Lover I have decided to share some memories, tips and tricks gleamed over time. I hope you enjoy my musings and find the handy hints helpful.

By way of introduction here is an article I wrote for a wine and music blog (subsequently never emailed to them!) that inspired me to begin this blog…………………………..

Lets begin with a wee pic of a part of the ‘studio’ 



Synth Addict Codependency! ­

By  The Synth-Porn Widow

I once received a postcard from Berlin that said “Hilfe, Mein Man ist Kuenstler” (help, my husband is an artist). It made me smile. Mine is one and I often feel the need to scream ‘HILFE’. I dabbled with the idea of becoming an artist myself once, but gave that up upon discovering the only sort I was good at was being a piss artist’. At which I could have become expert. I sure tried hard enough for a while.

During the first flush of our courtship it was all tour bus foreplay, champagne and weed on the rider and post gig coitus in sensational locations such as Cheskny Prod, Brussels, Brandenburg and Ireland to name but a few. Then, for a while, long distance dating with the telephone as our aid. This was before the days of skype and iphones. When my husband (the Kuenstler), at that time new boyfriend, was persuaded to leave his home-town in the British Isles (somewhere ‘grim up North’) and join me in the ‘broke but sexy’, cheap, hip and musically inspiring Berlin (no brainer, duh!) I was busy, busy, busy, having lived there for a couple of years already. Too busy to notice the hours, calls and twiddling that are the tell tale signs of a Synth-Porn Addict (so obvious to me now, 15yrs on). Did you know there are Postcards with knobs on and I have seen pictures with – well – lets not get into that right now. Justification for all that fiddling about comes in the form of royalties. These dutifully arrive every quarter when the PRS statements brighten a morning (that is, in our household at least and I truly sympathise with those SP Widows whose other half just does it for fun). Luckily for my Kuenstler and his peccadillo (should that be plural as he is a collector?) the fiscal reward for his twiddling always manages to make me more amiable towards having to chase the UPS driver around the island the moment he has tracked another synthesizer purchase has having landed (Hilfe!).


Yes, yes – if you twiddle my bits I’ll probably make some quiet, appreciative and throaty noises but no wav’s, pitch forms or indeed royalties forthcoming, just simple gratification (for both parties, hopefully at least). I grant you, a song can only be inspired by me not played or recorded upon me. Although he did once use my voice (through a vocoder as apparently I simply can’t sing) on a track that still plays on a Cuban drinks advert. However this should not rule out pressing my buttons, every now and then. In fact it is necessary to health and wellbeing – mine. These days I shoulder my synth-porn widowhood well. It is after all a creative outlet and synth-porn eats time, money and space in my exercise room but it ain’t ‘cheating’. Even though it sounds dirty and smutty sometimes! In my case it brings many rewards, financial only being one of them. So, when he’s talking ‘master and slave’ with an Ableton geek, I bake oatees  and sip on something biodynamic.

Having survived two decades of rave culture (we are talking underground parties in London Churches and Brixton railway arches before the Criminal Justice Bill came in, to the clubs on the Spree around Verein des Visionaires pre Panorama Bar in Berlin a decade later), when wine was just another part of the cornucopia of goodies in our arsenal of ‘recreational drugs’.

These days we favour minimalism to excess (pun intended). Ditching anything that has been unused for many months or years. For me this is many pairs of shoes from wedges (uncomfortable) to old sandals that are falling apart (average cost £20)! For my Synth Lover bye, bye to the two huge black boxes (Roland something or other) that arrived faulty and with American plugs, the mobile machine professor, the baby DT200, the MC-202 micro compressor and an Arturia Microbrute – I keep imagining this as a Roman action figure! All gone via e-bay. Yes sunth purchasers, I undertand ‘a synth is an investement’, so are my shoes – I get pleasure from them and then recycle them.


Please note no synths were harmed during the taking of this picture!

Finding ourselves at a stage in life’s journey where contemplation and mindfulness are a joy to be practiced daily (I jest not, inner calm and peace are underrated). I don’t want to start a debate on ageing, getting on, growing up, moving on as we believe it is just one aspect of living life.    We eat clean and organic foods, not because we want to be trendy, but because it tastes good. We buy local because that is what is available here (we live on an island with an organic farm 2km away). Therefore, would you accompany all that goodness with a Rioja containing rennet? I think not!


The other day, I was down the Rabbit Hole getting supplies to make a spectacular feast for some musicy people (no modesty required, I rustle up a great dinner!). The meal would not have been complete without wine, about which I know only that after a couple of glasses I get silly. Luckily for me, at that moment the wine merchant was dropping off some supplies of locally sourced, ethical, organic and biodynamic varieties. A most charming man, who was interested in the menu I was preparing and had some suggestions as to the accompanying vinos – a fine feat seeing as the meal contained no fish, meat or fowl.

The sale completed, I contentedly took the Hare and Badger home. Both were delightful, easy and un ostentatious. They will definitely be gracing our table again. Dinner was a great success. The guests thoroughly enjoyed the meal, the wines and the music on a beautiful Balearic night.

Starters oatee zucchini muffins with red wine chutney topped by cashew nut cheese on a bed of rocket with balsamic vinegar
Main kamut spaghetti with ‘feaux’ meatballs in tomato and mushroom sauce
Desert individual raw mango cheesecakes
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